Seven

Moral of the story tonight: don't leave the heart when it's dark - the photos are crap.

I know this. I knew it when I went out. I knew it when I was home after school pick up and could have gone to do it in the light.

But I  p  r  o  c  r  a  s  t  i  n  a  t  e  d.

I am quite good at that. I realise that the leaving of the blooming thing is the hardest bit for me. I don't know why. I have suspected it for a while. In the Chatsworth Road stars advent projects I've always enjoyed going with someone else. I realise that is because I can then just pretend I'm some sort of side kick. Not a crazy lady leaving hearts on random trees.

To make matters worse I leave this heart with a heavy heart of my own after an unpleasant encounter on my doorstep. One of these guys selling overly expensive cleaning products door to door arrived. I was in the middle of something and felt annoyed for being disturbed so I said 'thanks but no thanks'. He just wouldn't take no for an answer, and started saying that it was always 'no' when he called at this house, that my husband never bought anything either, that I had no idea how hard it was trying to make a living. I have to say even though I wasn't on my own in the house I found his aggression quite intimidating.

I have, in the past, bought stuff, thinking it's a bit of a Big Issue type thing with people working hard to earn a wage, so I felt pretty crap - for being shouted at and for being mean.

But I never really know what the score is with them. I googled it. I find Tim Dowling of the Guardian has endured worse. And loads of people ranting about it in various forums. I have yet to find anything from any 'official' source, but there were one or two suggestions that these guys can even be working in gangs, and maybe coercing youngsters into doing it. I wish I had the balls to grab the ID of these guys and really check it out in front of them. Mind you who knows what may have happened. He was shirty enough as it was.

Ho hum. Rach has decided to follow suit with Naomi and arranged some random acts of generosity for Lent. I like the idea but I'm not very good at generous. Certainly tonight I didn't feel very generous.